If you’ve ever broken a bone, you know damn well it’s the most painful experience ever! In a nutshell, it hurts like a bitch! But you know what sucks even more? Breaking your other type of bone, if you know what I mean Yes, I’m talking about your penis. Breaking your dick while having sex, to be more exact.
According to Medical Daily, when you “break” you rpenis, you’ll hear a crqcking or popping sound, you’ll swiftly lose your boner, and your dick will turn “kaleidoscopic” shades of purple and blue, due to the pooling blood in your damaged genitals. But let me point out that breaking your penis doesn’t actually involve breaking a bone, because the human penis does not consist of one. Rather, breaking your penis involves tearing a hole in what’s called the tunica albuginea, which is the vital component responsible for giving you boners.
A study in 2014 about broken penises published in the journal Advances in Urology found that out of 44 cases of broken penises, 28 were caused by three specific P-in-V sex positions.
And with the help of ofg this odd and hypnotic trio of GIFS from Cosmopolitan here are the top three most dangerous sexpositions that significantly increas your chances of snapping your manhood in half. So avoid them!
According to Medical Daily, half of broken penises are caused by having a woman sit on you rpenis in the cowgirl position. Well that sucks! That’s one of the most commonly used sex positions, too. That sucks.
“In this position, the woman controls movement with her body weight as she;s on he erect penis,” researchers suggest. “Here, the man is unable to stop the penetration if it goes awry.”
So the moral of the story is…don’t ever let her get on top. Ever!
2. Doggy style
Welp for the doggy style guys out there, 29 percent of snapped penises in the study were caused by too much thrusting from behind.
“In this position, the man exerts a lot of power in to his thrusts, which can take a wrong turn if he is not diligent,” the researchers said, suggesting having rough sex is risky business unless you’re super duper careful.
And finally, the third most dangerous sex position is missionary. Yes- missionary. The most human position there ever was. The boring baked potato of sex positions. Even the blandest of the bland has the potential to be disastrous. Never in a million years would we have guessed a sex position as boring as missionary could break your penis.
Well with that being said, we have just established that even the most boring sex positions can result in a horrifying penile injury. But then again, the odds of you actually breaking your penis are extremely slim, so you’ll probably be fine.
However, if something does go wrong, here’s what you should do:
Seek emergency medical attention
Cry some more.
For more info, read here.