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    Eminem’s Past Woes: Sorry, Hailie Jade Your Dad Is A “Renegade”

    Hailie’s Voice

    As a character in his own music, Eminem is a creative genius who hears voices. One of the voices Eminem hears most often is the voice of his daughter, Hailie Jade. The 2009 song “Deja Vu” is an example.

    “Mommy, Dad is acting strange and it’s starting to frighten me! He refuses to shave his beard and ignores me when I speak. All he does is eat Doritos, Cheetos, and even fell asleep in the car munching on 3 Musketeers in the back seat!”

    Eminem is heroically hiding his drug addiction from his family. “’Cause that Christmas, you know the whole/Pneumonia thing?/It was bologna/Was it the methadone/Ya think?” Eminem lost his best friend, DeShaun Holton, suddenly. Holton rapped under the name Big Proof. Subsequently, Eminem struggled with substance abuse, compounded grief, and positive self-image. His fight for sobriety is articulated in his lyrics. “Maybe just a chilled drink, what’s a beer? That’s the temptation in my ear, I’ve been sober for a whole darn year. And that voice still lingers, it’s all I can ever hear!”

    Going Through Changes

    Eminem describes being surrounded by those enabling his self-destructive behavior on his 2010 song, “Going Through Changes”. “****** drug dealers hang around me like ‘yes men’/And they gon’ do whatever I says when, I says it/It’s in their best interest/To protect their investment!” Eminem has well-documented his crumbling mental health and descent into drug addiction in various songs. Jay-Z’s 2001 song, “Renegade” features Eminem and includes the lyrics, “Viewed in America as a ************** drug addict/Like you didn’t experiment?/Now now, that’s when you start to stare at who’s in the mirror/And see yourself as a kid again/And you get embarrassed.”

    A “renegade” is defined as a deserter of ideals. Eminem often describes feeling misunderstood by those whom he is surrounded by. “My friends just can’t understand me/That’s understandable!” he raps on “Going Through Changes”. Eminem sees himself as a Good Dad who would do anything for his children.

    Putting Slim Shady To Bed

    Eminem raps on 2002’s “Hailie’s Song”, “My baby girl/Keeps gettin’ older/I watch her grow up with pride/People make jokes, ’cause they don’t understand me/They just don’t see my real side!” That is the context. It makes Slim Shady’s darkest lyrics all the more depressing.

    Moreover, one of Eminem’s saddest songs of all time is his 2010 track, “When I’m Gone”. In the chorus of the track, Eminem is instructing his children on how to act once he is no longer around to be there for them. “And when I’m not here, keep moving forward. Don’t grieve, celebrate. Whenever my voice reaches your ears, remember that I’m watching over you with a smile, free from pain. So don’t let sorrow touch you, just smile back!” He also talks about leaving Slim Shady behind for the sake of his family.

    “Then I go and say I love you to [Hailie]/And I hurt her mother who looks just like her/That’s Slim Shady, yeah, Slim Shady is wild/Shady created me/But tonight, Shady puts the baby to sleep!”

    Eminem also articulates his various dimensions of consciousness. In a dream he has, he  imagines  Hailie’s voice as she pleads with him. “Daddy, don’t go, Daddy, please, stop!”

    Eminem’s 2007 overdose plays out in “Going Through Changes”. Eminem explains his brush with death with even more lyrics about hearing the sound of his child’s voice. “(Daddy), don’t you die on me!/(Daddy), better hold your ground!/****, don’t I know the sound of that voice/Yeah, baby, hold me down!/I’m going through changes!”

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